Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

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Particularly Gory*</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>1972/Color/85 Min./Gorgon video/Geneni Film Distributing Co. & Brandwine/Motionarts & Ben Berry a</B><B>nd Associates/Rated PG</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Director..........Benjamin Clark</B></div> <div> <B>Screenplay....Benjamin Clark</B></div> <div> <B>Music.............Carl Zittrer</B></div> <div> <B>Producer........Gary Goch & Benjamin Clark</B></div> <div> <B>Executive Producer....</B></div> <div> <B>Special Make up Effects by Alan Ormsby</B></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Dramatis Personae</U></B></div> <div> <B>Val...............Varerie Mamches</B></div> <div> <B>Alan.............Alan Ormsby</B></div> <div> <B>Anya............Anya Ormsby</B></div> <div> <B>Jerry............Jane Daly</B></div> <div> <B>Paul.............Paul Cronin</B></div> <div> <B>Jeff..............Jeffrey Gillen</B></div> <div> <B>Roy..............Roy Engleman</B></div> <div> <B>Emmerson...Robert Philip</B></div> <div> <B>Druilla.........Seth Sklarey</B></div> <div> <B>Winns..........Bruce Solomon</B></div> <div> <B>Caretaker.....Alecs Baldwin</B></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Critique</U></B><B>: A very cheap Film. The initial scene left us skeptical, but we felt there was still some hope. There's a place, after all, for the very cheap film. A good enough story and you just get used to the abysmal acting and occasional stiff dialogue, and ignore it. The over acting of the director, Alan, however, started to put us over the edge. Check out the outfits. The action really starts to drag around the disinterment. But that's just the beginning. You might get some disgusted chuckles watching these idiots fail to try to entertain one another or us. In the face of a zombie attack, though, even these vapid thespians become somewhat interesting and become occasionally heroic. A great disappointment is that we don't get to see the deserved dismemberment of Alan. And what's the story with the fat slob coming up with the solution, surely he was zombie fodder from the get go! How can even these incompetents have blown that one? A mess.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Plot Summary</U></B><B>: Start up with a frame that has little to do with the rest of the film. On the isle of Dunworth, a groundskeeper is attacked by a lurking ghoul with vampire fangs in a top hat. Another ghoul comes and joins the first, as they help a corpse out of its grave and the first ghoul enters the grave. Some actors arrive at an island in a sailboat. The project, apparently, is to dig up a body from the cemetery and dabble in witchcraft, trying a few spells along the way. Obviously, they've picked a bad cemetery. One of the actors says it all when he says it's a good thing Alan is a director because he's a terrible actor. Alan urges his "children" (hence the name of this tragedy) along to the caretaker's cottage. The old caretaker is now babbling in the insane asylum after having killed his family. The next caretaker hanged himself. Paul climbs though a window and they get inside. Spirits are still high as they poke around the rat infested house. Alan pulls out a shotgun just in case. They are going to summon something at midnight. Alan keeps it close to his chest what's going on--he challenges them to quit if they want, but they hang in there. Alan pulls out the Gremouri, "a book of ancient spells, descending in a direct line from the druids." To bring the dead from the grave, what they need is a place where a consummate evil was committed, a curse must lie upon it and there must be fresh cadavers available. The bases are covered. They cheerfully head out for an exhumation. They try to haul out a body and the body reaches for the throat of its disinterer. We get to hear how some of the folks "peed their pants". Soon a pentagram is drawn and candles are lit, and the ritual is begun in earnest. They finally get a corpse (Orville) and the ritual begins. The skeptical thespians seem to get into the swing of it. It soon appears that the invocation didn't take. Alan is particularly disappointed, and curses Satan as a faker. Not a good move in even so cheesie a horror movie as this. Anya takes over and makes up her own ritual to wake the dead, further insulting Satan. Old Orville continues not to show any signs of life. they bring Orivile back to the house and hang around, producing boring puns. after an almost interminable period in which almost nothing happens, Anya suddenly decides that there is great beauty in death and it shouldn't be defiled. Meanwhile, some humorous gay actors continue the digging outside. What this has to do with the film remains unclear. When Alan continues to ridicule ole Orville, Anya tries again to bid his pardon, becoming pretty hysterical. Jeffrey calls out to 'get that thing out of here' and we wondered if he meant the camera. Eventually the spell seems to have taken and the ghouls start to rise from their graves. Finally! Unfortunately, so much good will has been lost by this point that even the best zombies would not be horrifying. These aren't the best. Nonetheless, when the zombies start shuffling up, the viewer can't help but close ranks. Even though the film has forfeited all sorts of interest, a zombie attack can't help but be a winner. Alan seems to wake up when it's brought up that the book contains counterspells as well. Will they get out? Who cares?</B></div> </td> </tr></table></body>